January 19, 2010

Crush & Burn

Its only been a day. not actually a day but it feels like a day. it was devastated.
when i knew it, my heart almost stop beating. this world seems stop spinning.
first i was starving but then i just realised how fat i am today.

I was sleeping all day when suddenly my phone rang. I just locked myself up in my room yesterday and today. let just say my handphone was broken and my computer too. even it doesnt still i said it was broken. i did try to avoid myself from the world today.

I opened up a box that i had been kept for a long time since last year. I found our photographs. then there was a conversation from ym. i printed that.

I opened up my diaries. all of it. one by one. all those messages are written in it and the exact time i got it. those wishes, those gifts and even our photographs.

i saw his name. almost every pages. my world seems cold.
no, im not feeling lonely. heartless.

i remember this. i know he already forgotten about it. im really sorry i burn that gifts.
feel guilty about it.

Thanks Omar, i still keep this :)

my diaries.

now i realise how a jerk i am. really regret it till now.
i guess i got to learn a new lesson. is not them who's mess everything up.
its me.

I saw my pictures with my bestfriends. how i miss them.
im sorry for all those yellings and arguing i make.

Izyan, i miss u too :)
remember this? i was frustrated(this is all because of a broken heart).
she helped me cut my hair ;p

2006 birthday wishes. thanks. i kept this for a long time.
I still have that card, Sal.

Every dates are written here.

Last year. thanks. appreciate it a lot.
sorry for taking you for granted.

this is our last date before you left.
2008. its funny because i still keeping this thingy. i still have that mineral bottle :)

maybe some of you who might be the one who's closed to me and the one who knows about us already know what im talking about. its just a memory that still remain in my heart and my thoughts every single day.

as the day passed by, i know it just not meant to be
but still i try to leave it all behind and start a new chapter in my life.

p/s : bila jiwang, lebih baik speaking ;)


myra said...

omg this is so sweet deary :)
hey i agreed!
bila jiwang better lagi in english ;p

NadNod said...

myra :) kalau nad tukar kepada bm, terus rase nk muntah org bace ;p

cik EPAL said...

nak mentos :)

full of love,keyna said...

speaking is better aite?bolela blajar bi dari nad.hehe

wah nad,rmbut pun simpan jugak?fest tyme tau nieh :P

NadNod said...

cik epal : x sangke, sempat cikepal buat tour blog :D

keyna : nad x hebat bi :) time tu nad syg sgt rambut nad. sedih tgk kene buang :)