March 07, 2010

Personal

i used to like to write about my personal life. since i used to get words like immatured and too over reacting, i changed. its hard to keep my mouth shut since i always spill things out without considering its too personal or it mights hurt people. cause this will be my second last entry for this month i would like to say how sorry i am towards other people.

for my behaviour for these past few months. i turn out to be super duper annoying and i know some people really wish i could just stop blogging and stop bugging them with my texts.

im really not good taking care of other people's heart. thats why im not wishing to take care one. since i cant barely take care of my bestfriends hearts. maybe i just should turn my back and stop this insanity to be so damn friendly with others.

result will be coming up within 4 or 3 days and my birthday too. suddenly i think its meaningless. i did promise to myself to see who wait for me on my birthday. it sounds stupid since so many people got irritated with me now and then. but let face it, its better not celebrate it. gosh, no wonder im getting chubbier each day.

i love to eat when my heart is broken -.- i break it on my own without others help. i love pushing people away. to see wether they willing enough to come back for me. i guess thats not going to happen.

come on, i should stop blogging since yesterday and it feels weird coz im still writing this shit. but thanks for all the support people have given in. it helps me to recover. i'll be happier someday. dont have to rush, heart do needs time too ;)

i need time on my own to accept people back into my life once again. i did throw people out my life. people like that never seems to change. turn their backs on me and expect me to welcome them as buddies? no no. i wont. i just hope i didnt see her/him when i receive my result. go away babe/dude, i dont know you. never were. all those sweet memories we have been through was nothing to me now. meaningless.

i hate sharing my personal life. okay. i love being a single lady. not because i love socialize but it feels good on my own for these past few months. and even if i did have someone, i need him to be there for me. listening to my craps story and learning each other.
im just not ready for any commitment with others. maybe when im ready, i will do this.

im just not strong enough to let my heart being left out, cold, loneliness and hurt by mean words or acts. let the pain recover first.

really need to deal with my attitude. say things that necessary only. come one Nad. you're being so mean -.-' cant believe i have this nightmare seeing my boyfriend cheating with others. haha. typical me right. psycho psycho.

it brings me no lucks with love. i love being friends. to see if we do can connected. i dont like being left out but i certainly left out other people without noticing it.

give me strength to get through this. bye.

2 comments :

cikin said...

ala..babe jgn stop blogging..
ingnoring is the best things..
lantak la same org2 itu..
sayang kaw..

NadNod said...

babe, bukan stop blogging sbb ni, stop sbb x nk gtaw result spm ;D stop for a while je ;p syg ko jugak! lame x dgr citer -.-