September 19, 2010

Random ar ❤

kali ini serius aku cakap random. kata ganti bahasa diri terus tukar jadi aku.

aku dah penat bermadah-madah, bertolak ansur dengan orang. kalau aku beri muka dikatakan memang benar aku bersalah. kalau aku buat salah diungkit sehingga ke lubang cacing. segala kamus dibuka bagai itu satu kesalahan besar dan haruslah atau mungkin bagi dia wajiblah untuk dibawa sehingga ke lubang cacing. tahu tak hukum wajib seperti dosa jika tidak buat. maka baginya wajiblah menyeksa jiwa batin segala tin tin bagi memuaskan rasa amarahnya yang baginya sangat hebat dan gah.

wah, entry emosi kali ini. sumpah emosi. aku dah cakap jangan main dengan emosi aku.

okay. jernihkan perasaan balik.


once, my friends told me. he does feel lonely on his own. she does feel lonely on her own. i laughed. sigh. i've been through that situation before. and i am having it right now. haha. pathetic. im not lonely because i have no boyfriend. im lonely because i have no one to talk to with all the pressure around me and the blame i have to take for.

sometimes i do wish i am studying abroad like most of my friends are. that would be fun. left all of this behind. and runaway. that is a good idea.

im not strong enough facing it on my own. its been a long time since i last cried. and recently i cried because when it is the time to let go one of my rabbit to her new owner. weird. it just rabbit girl! -.- and today i cried again because of the *#%$!@$!!!!! -.-

bila dah lama tak menangis, bila dah mula menangis gila macam *#*%#$#!! and guess what, i have no one to talk to. HAHA. gila ashame.

and right now i just cant face or even meet my own used to be soulmate. im scared. scare of facing the truth i got nothing to do with him anymore. got no special relationship. when people trying to make up with me and trying to be nice. i tend to stay away. heh.

few days ago, i went out with my closed friend. it feels weird, im still feeling lonely when im with them. they seems like stumb when they are with me. im not feeling talking to them. i just keep quiet like meeting new person. i laughed. but it seems fake to me. i make up stupid jokes. that i laugh real hard. its my own jokes. HA HA HA.

i just realised my bestfriend forgetting me. again. not the first time. yeah. i feel left out once again. that night i make it clear. i better off on my own. now im only have my twin left here to listen. if she could.



argh. pathetic. misery life right now. done. crap post.

3 comments :

Zeeyn said...

Hello-hello? Im here. haha. Sure i could be ur listener? Apasal nh huh? :'O

shafara (Ŧ) said...

same jela kite

NadNod said...

@Zeeyn panjang ceritanya. nak cerita nanti ternangis2. segan den ;p

shafara : yeah, u seems like having problem too. same T_T